Amusement

Another topic stressed in the book I'm reading is being in a state of amusement when practicing things. That means keeping your mind open to whatever can come up next and maintaining a playful point of view. This is important because being really stressed or taking everything too seriously triggers different chemicals in the brain that inhibits personal growth.

I think being too serious is one of the things that has prohibited me from spiritual growth so far. I've been way too logical in my search. Instead of seeking out something that fits me personally, I've put too much emphasis on finding the truth and nothing else. The problem is, not one man-made faith has found every single answer beyond reasonable doubt. The best I can do is keep looking until something "clicks" with me on a deeper level. If it feels right to me, then that is what I'm supposed to be following.

I know this isn't a new revelation: a lot of people have discovered a little truth in many faiths while never finding something entirely correct in just one. It's still an important realization to make, nonetheless.

The more I think about it, the more having a playful attitude when doing soul searching makes sense. By now, it's obvious to me that humanity as a whole is not supposed to know the meaning of life. We're here for a purpose, but we're the ones who have to figure it out. What better way to experiment than through play? Every single human has latent abilities far beyond the scope of their consciousness. Taking time out of the day to have some alone time and see what you can accomplish is just fun. It's also good practice for if/when you do need the skills you've developed someday. :)

Being Grounded

I've recently finished reading a book about psychic development (It's called, naturally, "Basic Psychic Development") and it's a pretty interesting read. It's a system developed by John Friedlander and Gloria Hemsher and it's broken down by relationships (with the earth, self, others, and "God of heart"). It focuses on the development of chakras, auras, and energy, and it was a pretty interesting read.

Now that I've read it through, I'm going to start practicing some of the techniques. Right now, I'm only interested in the first half of the book (earth and self), but it would be nice to be able to develop enough ability to help others and explore what lies beyond me. The first thing it teaches is how to ground oneself: sending negative, unwanted, and/or excess energy into the earth and being able to take in fresh energy. I know a lot of people think this kind of thing is bullshit, but it's worth a try, or at least some research.

My biggest problem so far is just being able to focus long enough to meditate properly. I downloaded some Buddhist chants, and that really helps, especially with the sound of traffic constantly going by. >.<>

Words of Introduction

Hello, blogosphere. My name is Audrey. Pleased to meet you.

Let's have some background story.

I was raised a good Christian, mostly by my dad and grandmother with reinforcement from friends and church. I was an awkward chubby child with a family going through some weird/bad situations, but it could have been much much worse. Faith pulled me through.

Now I am a slightly less awkward and chubby nineteen year old trying to figure this shit out. In the past five years, I have evolved from an aspiring missionary with lofty college goals to a college dropout who can do no better than look to the sky and ask "What the hell?" This was not a sudden change, as some may believe, but a very long soul-searching process that is still going full-force. There are many little details, but that would be too lengthy of a post. Perhaps some other time.

Now my plans include moving out and going to tech school for respiratory therapy. This may not seem like the first career choice with the smoking and all, but I like a little bit of irony. It beats sitting in a cocoon of pot for twenty years.

Those commercials have gotten a lot more entertaining in the past six months...

Well, I was inspired to start a blog but I think this is where I ran out.